Life is not always good, and that’s the reality: A Harvard psychologist says too many people think about happiness all wrong
Generally speaking, trying hard is a great way to achieve most of what you want in life. Put in more effort at work and your prospects for a promotion will almost definitely improve — at least more than they would if you simply accepted the status quo of being a slacker. Date a lot of people and you’ll have a better chance of meeting your soulmate than if you stayed at home moping on the couch. So if it’s happiness you want, it makes sense to think that actively trying to be happier is the sure path to getting there, especially compared to resigning yourself to a future of never smiling again. But psychologists are increasingly discovering that when it comes to happiness, trying can backfire. Instead, the paradoxical key to true happiness seems to be acceptingunhappiness — not forcing yourself to feel how you don’t. Susan David calls it “showing up” to your emotions.