DeVon Franklin & Meagan Good Franklin-THE WAIT
Beautiful couple, and so down to earth.They were hosted by the One Church LA to talk about their book.
They talked about their book that they co-authored titled “The Wait.” DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good are a hollywwon power couple, and in the book they openly share about their courtship and marriage, and the key to their success—waiting. In The Wait, DeVon and Meagan share the life-changing message that waiting—rather than rushing a relationship—can help you find the person you’re meant to be with. Filled with candid his-and-hers accounts of the most important moments of their relationship, and practical advice on how waiting for everything—from dating to sex—can transform relationships, allowing you to find a deep connection based on patience, trust, and faith.
On DeVon Franklin success, sometimes mistaken as something that occurred overnight, but he said that was far from it “so many people see my success and think, oh man it just happened — but you seeing the tree above the ground, you didn’t see when the roots got planted.” He had to remain patient and learn to be content and grateful for where he was in that moment. Talking about the fast pace of life now days.”We live in a time now where you gotta have it now, you gotta get it, if you dont get it now you feel bad.” But his faith allows him to see it different, that in Gods time, he makes the way. This same analogy helped him find his soulmate, his life partner that he feels was meant for him, and Meghan and DeVon in this insightful talk, converse about that and more:
When DeVon was a single guy, waiting for the right lady for him to come into his life, he was told that his standards were too high. By him practicing late gratification, and waiting for his faith in God to present the lady meant for him, he met Meghan Good. He described Meghan as “the greatest gift that he could ever receive.”
Meghan was asked her thoughts on why its so difficult for people to wait, and she said it could be because of love, people wanting to be accepted — to be found desirable like Yann Dall’Aglio tedtalk: Love — you’re doing it wrong, people wanting to find someone who will care for them, someone to see them as special and important. Another difficult thing about waiting that she talks about is if you are the person willing to wait, but not have someone willing to wait with you. At the end she feels we have to feel worthy, worth waiting for.
DeVon feels that we need to talk more about how to wait, teach people ways they can implement in their lives to make it possible to wait. He said, “In the absence of a plan, in the middle, psychologically, we just say well — we know we are suppose to but no one does,and they don’t really talk about it so its cool, because i don’t really have to. If the people i look to in culture, they didn’t wait and it looks like God’s favor is on them, what do i get out of waiting?.” He continued to delve even deeper into the topic and said “from the male point of view, i think that, there is a thing in us that says, yeah i know(we should wait but its unnatural, its just how we are made,” he expressed these as explanations or excuses why from a male point of view waiting may not be placed as a priority. In our generation where we try to put on outfits to make us cooler or do things to be with the in crowd, waiting is one of those things perceived as uncool, something that doesn’t feel normal.
Sometimes we get into relationships that are not the right relationships for us, or we are not with the right person meant for us, and so we breakup or divorce, and then can carry baggage(in the form of hurt, pain, abuse) from one relationship onto the next hoping to one day be relieved from all that we are carrying to find the person that feels like home. An excerpt from the book: “Millions of us are in pain…when you are with someone God doesn’t intend for you, pain of some sort is usually inevitable.” Meghan trying to explain the excerpt talks on her experience before she met DeVon, she said “One of the things that i have seen happen a lot and i have been a victim to more then one time is, we often go into relationships with people that we don’t really know, we know them to some degree, that they are amazing, they are fun, they make us laugh, we know that we are physically attracted to them, but we don’t really know them. Sometimes it takes years to really get the quality to know the heart, and the depth of who the person is, where they are going, what’s in their heart and how they think. and unfortunately what happens is it takes us years down the line, so (by that time) we have been in the relationship with the guy or girl for two years, three years, four years, sometimes even in marriage and it takes years down the line before we realize who they really are.–Most people being with the person not intended for them, walk away with a lot of pain and a lot of damage and a lot of insecurity, more insecurity then we had when going into the relationship.”
DeVon adds, “We suffer from a lot of post traumatic relationship disorder, we self medicate by instead of taking the time to heal, we are in pain and then we want to jump right into the next thing.” He says such a cycle only ends up producing the same result, we carry that pain into every relationship, having been wounded on the battle field of love, we enter marriage hoping that maybe this union can heal us. “If we can try deal with that pain, then maybe then people might get healed and out of that healing make better choices,” he said.
DeVon talking a little bit about his own marriage with Meghan, talks about a moment where he wanted things happening a certain way but Meghan wasn’t quite on the same page with him and so he asked himself–what i find to be a powerful question that we should all ask when we are in a relationship or marriage, especially when we try to base our relationships or marriages in the way that other people conduct their relationships or marriages, he asked himself this question, “Am i imprisoning her to an idea of what the marriage is suppose to be, or am i loving and accepting what the marriage really is?.” He explains that once him and Meghan began enjoying what the marriage was, “and not putting an ideal on it or an expectation on it” that’s when they felt healing taking place.
In the book there are tools that they talk about that aid in the process of waiting, some of the tools include:
- a reason why you are choosing to wait beside the one we are taught in church, e.g choosing to wait because you want the best, and are not willing to settle for less.
- Having a hunger for the more important qualities you want to find in your partner then the hunger to resolves one’s horniness.
- knowing yourself, knowing your triggers, the things that are going to set you off e.g netflix and chill in our generation which can lead to other things.
- setting yourself up for success
Devon talks about lust and describes it as a “beast. A feeling, an attraction, a distraction, a detour, where you only become obsessed with fulfilling your physical desire in a fantastic way. If lust is unchecked in dating it will go unchecked in marriage.” DeVon talked about his marriage with Meghan, how they are physically apart sometimes due to work obligations, during such moments, he talked about their faith, that by putting their faith first, and having waited or remained celibate before marriage, it gives them strength to be able to deal with lust when they are apart, “even though we are not together physically, we are still together and we honor our marriage, even when nobody else is watching.”
Overall this was very insightful, they talk in depth about waiting, they try to talk about it in a way that makes it worth doing, rather then something that feels like a punishment or like medicine that tastes really bad and u just dread taking it. And hopefully this talk, we get out of it what we are suppose to get out of it and that our relationships are able to become stronger.
The full conversation with audience questions can be watched below:
“The Wait: Kingdom Love 2” w/ DeVon Franklin & Meagan Good – Touré Roberts